Saturday, July 30, 2011

Indians are racists.

An article in a tabloid, today, prompted me to think about the fact that when it comes to the colour of skin, Indians can go completely from ludicrously bizarre to ridiculously absurd. The article spoke about how Hollywood and the American populace in general feel that Freida Pinto is gorgeous. The rudeness and racism was obvious in the last line when the writer finishes off the article with the quote, "Love is blind." Not only did I find it offensive, but belittling for the actress as well. Apparently, beauty is only skin deep, when it comes to the scale of "gorgeousness" our tabloids have.
Not only popular media, but a regular person is also smitten by the charm of the white skin. More so in North India where the fairer you are, the prettier you are supposed to be. And it does not matter whether your nose is off center or your eyes are squinted. You just need to be fair.Period.
So, it comes as a no surprise, that even after so many years of "white rule", we are still stuck in this bubble of the rule of the whites. A talentless, non Hindi speaking girl gets into the film industry just because she is white and has no other talent, still, other than her white skin. And another white lady manages to ensnare a husband for herself, build a career out of no skills and talent in modelling and then in the film industry.
Even politics is not far behind, with the white daughter-in-law of Mrs. G making news, fascinating millions, producing two more white dimwits and ruling the country from the backseat. I have personally heard my maids and her friends talk about her with such fascination and awe that it is puke-worthy. One maid gained celebrity status in her community, after she managed to touch this white woman's hand at some rally in some god forsaken place.
And then, Indians are always too ready to play the victim when it comes to any incident in white people land. From the attacks in Australia(I still doubt they were racially motivated) to discrimination in USA and UK. We don't look at what we do, as country of mixed race. It saddens me deeply that people pass comments on the dark skinned ones ranging from calling them all sorts of names, talk about their plight in "Black states" and then wonder why these people hate them so. A little introspection, I say.
And it is funny when aunties gather around you and comment on how fair you have gotten(after a trip to the mountains) or how dark you have become(after a sea-side party).If I could, I'd rather comment on how fat the aunties have become, how cylindrical they are now, almost spherical, how nauseating their clothes' choice is and how much their breath stinks. If only I can.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wish List...

With the onset of the birthday season, I decided to make public my very own wish list.

I want! I want! I Want!!

1. The "Top Gun" Tom Cruise in a box.Get him anyhow..!!!
2.Entry into Hogwarts.And not the fake one in Scotland or the studios..!! I want the real deal..!!

3. A portal to enter the fantasy world of Victorian Romance, meet all the Darcys and the the Rochesters of the world..!! *Sigh*

4.Shoes that actually fit me. The sexy heels that look so alluring and the classic Jimmy Choo designs.

5.Tangle free hair.With curls!!

6.World peace.( I was so tempted to write this.! :D)

7.Fat free, calorie-less ice creams and chocolates which taste good too.

8.A large large large teddy bear!!! 

9.Sid Mallya's British/Indian accent.

10.Rains Rains and more rains...

And please feel free to suggest more things, as only few are going to be taxed with completing this list. You can always add to their miseries..!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The sorry state of Indian Journalism

It is a reflection that has caught my fancy and as I scrounged various newspapers, magazines and news channels available in plenty, I have come to the conclusion that Indian Journalism has lost its sheen which was so painfully acquired by a certain Barkha Dutt those fateful days, back in 1999.
The newspapers, for a want of a better word are nothing but glorified tabloids with front page news covering the outrageously ridiculous antics of our politicians, the botox-ed, lip tucked, polygamous film stars and the omnipresent cricket team. Somehow, the lack of originality and issues to cover is a constant cause of intellectual drought that has been plaguing this world. I wonder what has happened to the basic principals of journalism, these papers are based on? Where exactly has the spirit to report, unearth a story and write disappeared? Why is it that world class papers have news covering every important aspect of the world, the debt crisis, the wars, the scandals and somehow our flawed narrow appetite for gossip has not been satiated. And it is absolutely ridiculous the way articles are being written in such journals.It makes me question the suitability of the reporters, supposedly "writing" the news. The fall of language, the lack of grammar and a coherence of thoughts only add to my linguistic woes, piling on to the intellectual feces that has accumulated over time.
News channel are a much cause of hilarity and I am not even going to waste this space on the crappy, shit-head, low IQ channels littering the air space. English news channels were still bearable with niche journalists like Pranoy Roy, Barkha Dutt and Arunabh Goswami at its helm.*respect*
Other than few shows hosted by them and few others produced by them, the English news channels are just a melting pot of anchors sporting fake accents and news topics which have been lifted off the CNN and BBC. Its actually funny that they cover "important world news" like the Norway killing, Syria Attacks, Euro crises, the phone hacking scandal etc few days later than they actually happened. I suppose, they wait for the economist, the time and other magazines to get matter ready for them. And yet it surprises me that they could cover the death of Amy Winehouse(the same day as the Norway killing which were almost blissfully ignored) and the Will-Kate marriage(which received 24 hour live coverage) with full zest and proper timing. Its shameful that journalism and reporting has just become another name for tabloid trash picking in our country.
I wonder what is the reason for such state of affairs?Why is it that the Indian audience is considered so dim-witted and dense that they are fed a regular dose of gossip and political drama but nothing that could be held remotely close to the world class publications available.Or maybe, the Indian audience is stupid, maybe they do want their dose of TV serial gossip, who married whom?Rahul Gandhi's latest comments, which paani puri walah pissed in his foodstuff and which lonely housewife ran away with her much younger boyfriend.
A pity.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Thrift shopping and its joys.

Lately I have been bitten by the shopping bug and much to the dismay of my parents, I love it.!
After abstaining from my previous spendthrift ways for almost a year, its good to be back on the shopping bandwagon.
My travels through different markets plaguing the city have taken me from the old yet well stocked malls of Gurgaon to skeleton replicas of the same in West Delhi, from cheap flea markets to the university shoppers' haven, knags.
Every shopping trip of mine has been a well planned execution of the day's budget, travel time, friends and pure shopping joy.
One memorable trip was when I spent seven straight hours shopping with my sister and A. Right after the end of the college year, we spent hours scrounging the market for clothes."A" wanted to buy an outfit for this wedding she was attending and we rose to the task. Looking at extremely costly traditional wear in famous shops, trying out outfits and pretending to be oh-so-smart and experienced at such shopping by talking about the make of the cloth and design a la our mothers. But I still suspect that no one really believed us but we did end up buying a really awesome black dress suit.We even tried a shady looking empty restaurant where there was just one guy playing multiple roles, the chef, the receptionist and the waiter. Despite the slow service the food was good and the entertainment, hilarious( a couple sat in front of us and ensued much amusement and laughter.)And this was the trip where we walked around for seven straight hours(Yes, I counted) and by the end of it, my wallet was literally empty, having spent the last 20 bucks on the rickshaw.This was also the day A decided that FMS was not for her as the building was too small. Don't know if she has changed her mind or not.I have always loved shopping with "A", every time I am sad, its a cure for me.Shopping and a good dose of "A".
The next trip was on a hot day with my cousins. We had a fixed budget and a fixed item to buy.But I digressed from the plan(damn!). But it was good fun, we speed shopped, buying T-shirts and tops at random, filling in our bags.It wasn't our fault, really, there was a discount and the stuff was really good, ask my sister.And then, the heat got to us and we ran inside a noodle shop.Tasty, it was and we were back home in a record 4 hours.!
To cure, me of my flea market shopping spree, dad took me to the nearest mall and let me loose.He wanted me to buy "quality" stuff. But after spending so less for so more, it really gets hard to break the habit and ended up just doing a recce of the place and checking out the latest fashions, much to the disappointment of dad.:D:D
The next few trips were tame, shopping at "respectable" stores, buying "respectable" stuff. At least my dad was happier, despite a lighter wallet.
Last weekend I met my school friend after a long long time. Love you, E!! It was awesome despite a perpetual threat by my other idiotic friend.That was the day, I finally managed to get my hands on 2 awesome pairs of shoes and at a discount at that!! That shoes store made me fall in love with Gurgaon malls. Good stuff.
And the latest trip was once again in a cheap place for cheap roadside shopping. A day spent window shopping and buying anything that caught my fancy.
Thrift shopping has filled my wardrobe with a number of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories.And my wallet is happy while I can pretend I am shopping at a trendy fashion label(The clothes do look similar if you squint your eyes.)

Friday, July 22, 2011

Tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

A random analysis of the most desirable men in English Literature.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: Inevitably topping the list, Mr Darcy is as desirable as desirable can be. Made immortal on celluloid by Colin firth, he is one guy every guy should read about.Proud, with an air of being class apart and yet someone who has a heart large enough for people he cares about. His trademark is his inability to express himself and yet when he does, he does it such elegance and charm that it melts your heart. A gentleman by birth and by actions, he is every guy's envy and every woman's fantasy. A true epitome of strong and silent types.

Edward Rochester:"I ask you to pass through this life at my side, to be my second self, my earthly companion."
Because some people are so brutally honest that you either hate them or love them. Mr. Rochester stands as a typical Byronic hero. he has no charms and no regrets about it either.Not described as either handsome or amiable, he exudes an aura around him which drags you into him. He might be rough and crass in his actions but when he speaks of his feelings, he knows exactly what to say. A person who wears his heart on his sleeve and yet is dark and mysterious enough to make you want to know him even better.

George Knightley: This is one man who stands in the background, judging and weighing everything. His attraction lies in his maturity, a sensible and kind person who often steps in to help the underdog. His passions lie submerged and yet somehow he flares up for people he cares for.A lover, we all want.

Heathcliff: He has always stood against all adversities for his love. A person who brews with deep passion and the feelings which even love cannot explain. His dedication towards the person he loves is such that he willingly leads his whole life for her, dying with her and killing for her. The world and the society holds no meaning for him as he stands his ground for the one he loves.Knowing all too well, that she loves him too.
Love, he said always hurts and he takes in that hurt and immerses himself in it. A true example of the darkest shade of love, the passionate and the strongest.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Dog Walking Chronicles.

It has happened.
What I had been dreading all this time.
Seems like my laziness is finally put on hold as is my beauty sleep.*sigh*
The tragedy that has so fallen on my fragile shoulders is the fact that I am being forced to wake up at ungodly hours to walk my dog. A pity for I am still so in love with my comfy bed and my hoard of pillows of all shapes and sizes.
This task fell on me after my many failed attempts to evade this chore.As Mom, Dad and my sis routinely took on the early morning dog walk part, i slept in pure sleeper's bliss. And then it was unanimously decided that I should be the one getting kicked out of the bed.
In Sleepers hell every morning i have discovered a whole new perspective of seeing the world around me. The dog's way.
As my dog, Casper often runs amok in every possible direction, picking fights with dogs ten times his size, ignoring the tiny cute ones, fighting with the doodh-wallahs and the newspaper guy it has been an eye opening week.
The first thing I noticed was the many nooks and crannies seemingly straight, boring roads have.Hidden holes, tiny doggy hills, small jungles, dried up poop land and all you can sniff places.
The innocent looking park got a new notoriety as the go to place for dog poop. I have spent the whole week jumping around dried and wet samples of dog shit from murky yellow to disgusting brown. It can be traumatic for a non-poop person like me.
The next hidden travesty were the cement roads where there are secret places for dogs. Here, I found a whole variety of doggy treasure from last night's leftovers to rotting fruits, collected crap from the roads and an omnipresent stink.
Pillars and cars also get a new meaning as the poop and pee motel for dogs. Stray dog rent a place to stay while spoiled dogs like mine only use the facilities, per se.
And as I have tried telling my parents and failed at it, it seems my day will always begin with a good dose of dog poop.
Shit happens.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cyber Stalking: Why I like what I do.

And why I wont stop.


1.A free pass for a pass at good looking examples of human species. Sigh! If only such people would grace us in real life.

2.Amateur James Bond on developing love stories.

3.Sleuthing on those evil cracks who cracked your real life. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing such a person fall on his face in the cyber world.

4.Encyclopedia on people you don't really know much. Where they partied, with whom did they party, where did they sleep last night?wink wink

5.A 24x7 vigil on your latest crush. Is he seeing someone?Why did that girl comment on so many posts of his?

6.Spying on that evil reincarnate of Medusa.The one who might steal your guy from under you. Very important.

7.Keep track of your teachers on fb. (Don't know about it but my "sources" say its useful.).

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My tryst with astrology

I am a big fan of the zodiacs, from reading the daily horoscopes to personality analysis, numerological significance, planetory motions, stars etc. I have done it all.
Somehow, this doesn't go too well with my father who says that according to me 1/12th of the entire population the world should have the same personality traits. But then again, I have my own counter argument that personality traits are not completely because of the sun signs, we have the stellar positions to count for, the moon sign, other planets, time of birth and date of birth. To which he would just laugh. Hmph!
I have tried this on many people, my close friends, poor victims of my amateur astrology. I have so painstakingly checked their zodiac, their planets, their stars, numerology, read accounts from all known astrologers (Linda Goodman to the rescue), made up my own hypothesis, conclusions and by the time I'd be ready to publish my paper, they'd be off somewhere else, not interested in my research.
And I have tried this with so many of my crushes(being a Leo, it is a sizeable number), I'd read and re-read their personality traits, analyse their behaviour, discuss on forums and by the time I am done with what they exactly are, I'd have a new sign to search for.
So, when I fell in love with Tom Cruise, a Cancer, I was pleased that I have a new zodiac to explore and I was really pleased with all the analysis, Leo and Cancers are the perfect match. Opposites attract.Fire to his water etc etc. And then he married. Sad.
Then it was Rupert Grint, a Virgo. My school friends still associate me with him. I'd read and re-read stuff about Virgos. Perfect match. opposites attract. Fire and Earth. And then he turned ugly. A pity.
Sid Mallya, few months ago, a Taurus.  A Greek God to me. And since one of my best friends is a Taurus, I was on cloud nine. The forums had some new insight on him now. Perfect match, they said. Opposites attract. I am still in love with him. <3
Then, it were my best friends, a Virgo, a Saggitarius, a Taurus, two Cancers, an Aries and my close friends two Virgos, a Leo, a Scorpio, a Saggitarius and the people I could never gel with a Capricon, many Leos, a Virgo, a Scorpio and the ones who annoyed the hell out of me, a Leo, a Gemini, an Aquarius, a Saggitarius and the list goes on.
I suppose its all individual, seeing how ridiculous my lists sound.I'd rather give the person time than sit in a corner reading up and discussing his personality traits instead of finding out about the person first hand.
Maybe, its time to bid Ms. Goodman, goodbye.
Josh Duhamel
November 14 1972
A Scorpio